quote for the week: If by Rudyard KIpling

 If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you

But make allowances for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,

Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,

And yet don't look too good or talk too wise,

If you can dream and not make dreams your master;

If you can think and not make thoughts your ain,

If you can meet with triumph and disaster

And treat those two imposters just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you can your life to broken,

And stoop and build them up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it on one turn of pitch and toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings,

And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them, "Hold on."

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue

And walk with kings nor lose the common touch;

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

If all men count with you, but not too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,

And what is more, you'll be a Man, my son.

Remembering RBG

We owe so much to Ruth Bader Ginsburg.  I spent the last week remembering how much she changed my life.  Soon after I was divorced, I was shopping at Dillards and remarked to the clerk that I was no longer the Mrs....that was listed on my credit card.  She was horrified and so was I when I found how difficult it was to get a card in my own name.  

When my automobile insurance came due, my agent informed me that the present company was dropping me because "divorced women have more accidents."  I got a policy with a different company and the next year I got a different agent.

When a fellow speech-pathologist and I opened our private practice in 1975, we could not set up a bank account unless our husbands signed for it.  

Imagine any of those incidents happening today.  We owe much of our success as women to RBG's influence.

The year after my second husband died, I submitted a poem to a forthcoming book entitled The Widows' Handbook. I was delighted when it was accepted and both amazed and thrilled when I got my author's copy and read the forward written by none other than Ruth Bader Ginsburg.  A widow herself, she took the time from her extremely busy life to write about her own widowhood and her compassion for those of us who had lost our spouses.

In my heart, there will always be a vacant chair in the Supreme Court in memory of Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

Here is part of a poem that fits her perfectly.  It's called The Dissenter's Hope:

Never surrender the fight for today

And never give up the dream of a better tomorrow

For this is the dissenter's hope

That one day,

Some enlightened day in the future,

When truth is given full voice

Justice will win the majority

And the bell of freedom will ring

With new clarity.

quote for the week: Remembering Those We Lost

 This is the time of the year for remembering loved ones who are no longer with us.  Below is my favorite poem about remembering:

In the rising of the sun and in its going down, we remember them.

In the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter, we remember them.

In the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of spring, we remember them.

In the blueness of the sky and in the warmth of summer, we remember them.

In the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of auturmn, we remember them.

In the beginning of the year and when it ends we remember them.

When we are weary and in need of strength, we remember them.

When we are lost and sick at heart, we remember them.

When we have joys we yearn to share, we remember them.

So long as we live, they too shall live, for they are a part of us, as we remember them.

What the Pandemic Hasn't Taken Away

 What's the old saying?  "May you live in interesting times."  That's certainly true for 2020.  We've had a pandemic, social unrest, unemployment, a downturn in the economy, a hotly and often nastily contested election, wildfires, hurricanes, and this week the death of an icon--Ruth Bader Ginsburg. 

Yesterday during his sermon for Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, our rabbi spoke of the  losses the pandemic has inflicted on us and added that one thing we haven't lost is hope.  We still have hope for the future, one that may be different from our lives before COVID, but hope nevertheless.

I would add that there are other things the pandemic hasn't robbed us of--love, compassion, forgiveness, memory and legacy.

We still cherish those we love--our families, friends, neighbors--and even though we may not be able to see them in person, even if we may not be able to touch or hug them--that love hasn't disappeared.  It comes across however we interact--by phone or email or Zoom or even through a window.  That love helps us through these times.

We can still feel compassion for others--those who have lost someone to COVID or are suffering from it themselves, those who are lonely or confused or without work that once sustained them.  If we are able, we can donate to organizations that alleviate their suffering.

Next week in the Jewish calendar is the Day of Atonement on which we ask forgiveness for wrongs we have done in the past year,, but I think it's even more important to forgive others.  Holding a grudge is painful and unhealthy.  Someone may have hurt you unintentionally or on purpose.  Let it go.  Life is easier that way for both of you.

No matter what's happening around us, we still have our memories that we can cherish.  Often they remind us that what's going on around us isn't forever.  We can look back on other times in our lives and remember that we survived the painful times  For me, the most painful time, literally, was when I was 19 and caught fire from a gas heater.  I remind myself that if I could have survived that, I can deal with anything.

And we have our values that we can pass on to those who come after us.  I give workshops on writing legacy letters, to encourage people to share their values, their wisdom, their experiences, and their life stories.  What better gift can you give?

I encourage you to keep in mind all the pandemic hasn't taken away and be grateful for the things we cannot lose,.

Answers to Double Jeopardy questions and Books of August

 Double Jeopardy answers:

$400 Who was Billy the Kid?

$800 Who is Big Ben?

$1200 Who is Warren Buffett?

$1600 What is Easter Seals?

$2000 What is itching?

Books of August:

My Dark Vanessa.  Dark story of a teenager lured into a relationship with her teacher. Even as an adult, she believes it was a love affair.  C+

Pull of the Stars.  I read this because Emma Donaghue is one of my favorite authors.  Interesting story from the viewpoint of a nurse who is caring for pregnant women who have the flu during the flu pandemic during WWI.  

The Last Flight.  Two strangers who meet in an airport and who are both fleeing from dangerous lives exchange tickets.  One of the plane crashes.  I enjoyed this one.