Signs of Our Times, Part 2

 Sign on a Maternity Room door: 

Push. Push. Push.

Sign at a car dealership:

The best way to get back on your feet--miss a car payment,

Sign outside a Muffler Shop:

No appointment necessary.  We hear you coming.

Sign in a veterinarian's waiting room:

Be back in five minutes.  Sit. Stay.

At the electric company:

We would be delighted if you send in your payment on tine; however, if you don't, you will be de-lighted.

In a restaurant window:

Don't stand there and be hungry; come in and get fed up.

At the front of a funeral home:

Drive carefully.  We'll wait.

At a propane filling station:

Thank Heaven for little grills.

In a Chicago radiator shop:

Best place to take a leak.

On the back of a septic tank truck:

Caution:  This truck is full of political promises.

Birthday, 2021

 At 9:15 a.m. today, I became exactly another year older. My daughter asked me the other day if I was excited about my birthday.  "Not so much," I told her.  "I've had so many."  Indeed I have, but this one was especially lovely because I was able to celebrate with my children in person.  My daughter came yesterday and my son and daughter-in-law today.  They brought me the cutest birthday gift ever--a drawing of a cat wearing glasses and reading To Kill a Mockingbird.  So funny.

This has been a weird year, hasn't it?  COVID lockdowns, people unrecognizable because they're wearing masks, vaccines, elections, and Zoom, Zoom, Zoom.  I wonder what to do with the masks I have collected in various colors to match my clothes.  Save them in case there's another spike of the virus?  Give them to Goodwill?  But who would want them?  Maybe just keep them as a memory of this crazy year.  

I wonder if people will continue online shopping now that stores are open again.  Will Zoom's stock go down?  (I don't know if they're listed on the stock market.)  How long will the toilet paper that people hoarded last?  Will sour dough bread replace whole wheat?  How many projects begun during lockdown will be completed? How many hobbies taken up out of boredom will continue?  Will people give up their sweats for business attire or will extremely casual become the new office-wear?  

I am only hoping this next year will be calm and safe and normal again... for all of us.

Signs of our Times, Part 1

 

Sign on a shoe repair shop:

We will heel you.

We will save your soul.

We will even dye for you.

Sign on a blinds and curtains truck:

Blind man driving.

Sign at a gynecologist's office:

Dr. Jones, at your cervix.

Sign in a podiatrist's office:

Time wounds all heels.

Sign on a septic tank truck:

Yesterday's meals on wheels.

Sign at an optometrist's office:

If you don't see what you're looking for,

you've come to the right place.

Sign on a plumber's truck:

We repair what your husband fixed.

Sign at a tire shop:

Invite us to your next blowout.

Sign on an electrician's truck:

Let us remove your shorts.

Sign in a non-smoking area:

If we see smoke, we will assume

you are on fire and will take appropriate action.

Enjoy!  To be continued next week.

A Memory for Mother's Day: My Mother's Shoes

 My mother was a tiny woman, barely five feet tall, with dark hair and blue eyes.  The youngest of six children, she grew up in an immigrant family in Omaha, Nebraska.  There were few luxuries for the sisters in their home.  Her one indulgence was shoes.  Once when she was a young girl, a shoe manufacturer remarked upon her small, pretty feet and asked her to model his brand of shoes.  Elated, she asked her mother for permission.  It wasn't granted.  In my grandmother's eyes, model equaled prostitute and in no way would she grant her daughter's request.

Mother grew up, married and moved to Austin, Texas, where she gave birth to my sister and me.  Although she dressed us in outfits from Neiman Marcus, lavished us with music lessons, dance lessons, tennis lessons, private preschool and elaborate birthday parties, she never spent much on herself.  Except for shoes.  Her love of footwear continued through her life.  She wore size 4B, the same size as shoe store samples, and she filled her closet with every sample she could find--high heeled pumps and sandals, white shoes and black, spectators and sporty wedges.  My sister's boyfriend once said, "Mrs. Dochen, you're the only lady I know that wears high heels in the kitchen."  Of course she did; they made her taller.

She gave me and my friends her old shoes and dresses to use in our endless games of dress-up. One of my friends was crestfallen when she outgrew Mother's sample size shoes.

High heels were her pleasure and in her old age, her downfall.  One day she tripped going up the stairs to the porch.  Her glasses fell off and the earpiece pierced her eye, leaving her partially blind.  She never wore high heels again.

When dementia stole her memory, her communication skills and her awareness of the world around her, my sister and I moved her to a nursing home.  There she wore ugly shoes, "old lady shoes" she would have called them if she'd been able to comment on them.

After the move, my sister and I cleaned out her house.  We saved her room for last.  When we opened the door of her closet, there were dozens of pairs of her shoes.  Memories of our mother's life, lined up two by two on her closet floor.

Books of April

 Later.  A young man recounts his life and his gift of seeing and conversing with dead people.  Not Stephen King's best.

A Case of Need.  Written by Michael Crichton before he became an international best selling author.  He uses his medical background to tell the story of a doctor trying to help his friend who has been accused of performing an abortion that resulted in the death of a young woman.  Loaded with so much medical jargon that there are end notes at the conclusion of each chapter to explain the terminology.  Would you believe a doctor would investigate this?  Not really.

Watcher Girl.  Another book with an unbelievable premise:  a young woman returns to her home town to apologize to an old boyfriend for breaking up with him years ago despite the fact that said boyfriend is how happily married and a father.

The Secret Lives of Colors.  The author discusses white, pink, yellow, red, blue, green, brown, purple and black and their various shades.  We see and learn about each shade, including anecdotes about how it was discovered, mixed, used, named.  Fascinating.