"To Know the Dark"

The widowsphere is a new world for us, a world we didn't choose. When we enter for the first time, the dark is all around us. We feel as if we're sinking knee-deep in muck. We're lonely, scared, overwhelmed with the tasks that follow a death: probate, death certificates, bank accounts, car titles, social security. I remember bursting into tears at the bank when I was trying to set up a new account. We wonder how we'll get through this. Is this what it's going to be like forever?

But slowly, we see pinpoints of light through the dark: a memory that makes us laugh, a meal that doesn't taste like cardboard, a sunrise that reminds us there's beauty in the world. And step by step, we gather courage. We get through a day, then a month. We find a new interest, a new friend, a way to help others, and we begin to believe with the poet Wendell Berry, "that the dark, too, blooms and sings."

Whether you're a new widow or a veteran like me, you may find the bulletin boards on www.widownet.org helpful. There's a thread for everyone, no matter where you are in your journey.

And I hope you'll be back here, too. See you in seven.