2012 has been a year of ups and downs, from the highest to the lowest, but one more day and it will be history.
Most joyful moment: Hearing my granddaughter, Gabriella, chant her Torah portion at her Bat Mitzvah
Hardest moment: My son's stroke in June
Proudest moments: Seeing my son's courage and determination to overcome aphasia
Goal achieved: Contract for publication of my memoir, Stumbling Through the Dark, which will be released in 2013.
Biggest decision: To move to a high rise for indepedent living to be completed in 2015.
Another goal achieved: Publication of On Our Own: Widowhood for Smarties in October
Most delightful surprise: My sisters-in-law sent me my husband's baby book last week.
Best restaurant meal: At the Lahaina Grill in Maui on a trip with my daughter
Best museum visit: The Art Institute in Chicago with my son and daughter-in-law
Best book I read this year: The Lost Wife
Best cultural event: Orbit by the Houston Symphony
Favorite sports moment: Roger Federer wins Wimbledton and returns to #1.
Most disappointing sports moments: The meltdown of the Houston Texans
Scariest moment: Coming home to discover a break-in at my home
Feeling sad about: Needing a new phone system and losing my husband's message on the answering machine
Nostalgic weekend: High school reunion and, on the way home, lunch at the Brenham, Texas airport
Favorite movie: Skyfall
I could go on and on. Instead, I'll just wish everyone a Happy New Year
and hope that '13 is a lucky number for all of us.
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Site Review: Widowed Village
How was your Christmas?
For widows, the answer often is, "Lonely."
Holidays are rough, and that's not to say that many other days aren't, too. Here's a site just for widows: Widowed Village. Chats, groups, blogs--here's a way to talk it over with others who understand. It's a place to share your sorrows and successes. www.widowedvillage.org Check it out. Once you do, I think you'll want to be a part of it.
And Soaring Spirits, the sponsors of this website, also puts on Camp Widow yearly. Here's your chance to meet in person, learn ways of coping, become part of a community.
Best wishes for the coming year.
Sunday, December 23, 2012
My Favorite Christmas Story:
I post this true story every year. Enjoy.
A guy named Bob May, depressed and brokenhearted, stared out his drafty
apartment window into the chilly December night. His 4-year-old
daughter, Barbara, sat on his lap quietly sobbing. Bobs wife, Evelyn,
was dying of cancer. Little Barbara couldn't understand why her mommy
could never come home. Barbara looked up into her dads eyes and asked,
"Why isn't Mommy just like everybody else's Mommy?" Bob's jaw
tightened and his eyes welled with tears. Her question brought waves of
grief but also of anger.
It was the story of Bob's life. Life always had to be different for Bob. Being
small when he was a kid, Bob was often bullied by other boys. He was too
little at the time to compete in sports. He was often called names he'd rather
not remember.
From childhood Bob was different and never seemed to fit in. Bob did
complete college and married his loving wife and was grateful to get his job
as a copywriterat Montgomery Ward during the Great Depression. Then he
was blessed with his little girl. But it was all short-lived. Evelyn's bout with
cancer stripped them of all their savings and now Bob and his daughter
were forced to live in a two-room apartment in the Chicago slums. Evelyn
died just days before Christmas in 1938.
Bob struggled to give hope to his child for whom he couldn't even afford to
buy a Christmas gift. But if he couldn't buy a gift, he was determined to
make one--a storybook.
Bob had created the animal character in his own mind and told the animal's
story to little Barbara to give her comfort and hope. Again and again Bob
told the story, embellishing it more with each telling. Who was the
character? What was the story about?
The story Bob May created was his own autobiography in fable form. The
character he created was an outcast like he was. The name of the character?
A little reindeer named Rudolph with a big shiny nose.
Bob finished the book just in time to give it to his little girl on Christmas
Day.
But the story doesn't end there. The general manager of Montgomery Ward
caught wind of the little storybook and offered Bob May a nominal fee to
purchase the rights to print the book. Wards went on to print the book and
distribute it to children visiting Santa Claus in their stores. By 1946 Wards
had printed and distributed more than six million copies of Rudolph the Red
Nosed Reindeer. That same year a major publisher wanted to purchase the
rights from Wards to print an updated version of the book. In an
unprecedented gesture of kindness, the CEO of Wards returned all
rights back to Bob May.
The book became a best seller. Many toy and marketing deals followed and
Bob May, now remarried with a growing family, became wealthy from
the story he created to comfort his grieving daughter.
But the story doesn't end there. Bob's brother-in-law, Johnny Marks, made a
song adaptation to Rudolph. Though the song was turned down by such
popular vocalists as Bing Crosby and Dinah Shore, it was recorded by Gene
Autrey. "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" was released in 1949 and
became a phenomenal success, selling more records than any other
Christmas song with the exception of "White Christmas." The gift of
love that Bob May created for his daughter so long ago kept on returning to
bless him again and again. And Bob May learned the lesson, just like his
dear friend Rudolph, that being different isn't so bad. In fact, being different
can be a blessing.
A guy named Bob May, depressed and brokenhearted, stared out his drafty
apartment window into the chilly December night. His 4-year-old
daughter, Barbara, sat on his lap quietly sobbing. Bobs wife, Evelyn,
was dying of cancer. Little Barbara couldn't understand why her mommy
could never come home. Barbara looked up into her dads eyes and asked,
"Why isn't Mommy just like everybody else's Mommy?" Bob's jaw
tightened and his eyes welled with tears. Her question brought waves of
grief but also of anger.
It was the story of Bob's life. Life always had to be different for Bob. Being
small when he was a kid, Bob was often bullied by other boys. He was too
little at the time to compete in sports. He was often called names he'd rather
not remember.
From childhood Bob was different and never seemed to fit in. Bob did
complete college and married his loving wife and was grateful to get his job
as a copywriterat Montgomery Ward during the Great Depression. Then he
was blessed with his little girl. But it was all short-lived. Evelyn's bout with
cancer stripped them of all their savings and now Bob and his daughter
were forced to live in a two-room apartment in the Chicago slums. Evelyn
died just days before Christmas in 1938.
Bob struggled to give hope to his child for whom he couldn't even afford to
buy a Christmas gift. But if he couldn't buy a gift, he was determined to
make one--a storybook.
Bob had created the animal character in his own mind and told the animal's
story to little Barbara to give her comfort and hope. Again and again Bob
told the story, embellishing it more with each telling. Who was the
character? What was the story about?
The story Bob May created was his own autobiography in fable form. The
character he created was an outcast like he was. The name of the character?
A little reindeer named Rudolph with a big shiny nose.
Bob finished the book just in time to give it to his little girl on Christmas
Day.
But the story doesn't end there. The general manager of Montgomery Ward
caught wind of the little storybook and offered Bob May a nominal fee to
purchase the rights to print the book. Wards went on to print the book and
distribute it to children visiting Santa Claus in their stores. By 1946 Wards
had printed and distributed more than six million copies of Rudolph the Red
Nosed Reindeer. That same year a major publisher wanted to purchase the
rights from Wards to print an updated version of the book. In an
unprecedented gesture of kindness, the CEO of Wards returned all
rights back to Bob May.
The book became a best seller. Many toy and marketing deals followed and
Bob May, now remarried with a growing family, became wealthy from
the story he created to comfort his grieving daughter.
But the story doesn't end there. Bob's brother-in-law, Johnny Marks, made a
song adaptation to Rudolph. Though the song was turned down by such
popular vocalists as Bing Crosby and Dinah Shore, it was recorded by Gene
Autrey. "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" was released in 1949 and
became a phenomenal success, selling more records than any other
Christmas song with the exception of "White Christmas." The gift of
love that Bob May created for his daughter so long ago kept on returning to
bless him again and again. And Bob May learned the lesson, just like his
dear friend Rudolph, that being different isn't so bad. In fact, being different
can be a blessing.
Happy Holidays to all!
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Interview with Aline Soules, Contributor to On Our Own: Widowhood for Smarties
Aline Soules contributed three beautiful poems to On Our Own: Widowhood for Smarties. Here's my interview with her:
AS I have a son, but no other living family.
This makes me alone a great deal of the time. I miss our partnership, our
love, our conversation, our intimacies of every kind. I have no
ballast. I have no companion. No one understands me in the way he
did. After 13 years, it's still a challenge.
AS Every day--write every day. If it's good, that's wonderful. If it's not so good, write anyway and get up tomorrow and do it again.
TZ Your work deserves to be out in the world. It's beautiful.
Here's where readers can see more of it: Meditation on Women
TZ I was especially
touched by your poem Apart, about donating your husband's organs.
AS. My husband experienced a
brain aneurysm at the age of 54. He was, in all other ways, healthy when
he collapsed and his body continued for some hours after his collapse.
This enabled me to donate organs and tissues. Everything was usable
except his liver (he had been a chemist)--heart, lungs, kidneys, corneas, bone,
skin.
TZ What’s been the
hardest thing about being a widow?
TZ If you had to describe
widowhood in a 6-word sentence, what would you say?
AS This
is my final gift to my beloved--to endure for both of us
(sorry, more than 6 words!)
TZ Any advice for widows?
AS We are not unique. Every year in this
country, according to the U.S. Census, 13 million people are widowed every
year, 2 million men, 11 million women. Each of us must cope; all of us must
support each other.
TZ Tell us about your
writing background. Have you always written poetry?
AS I started writing as soon as I could hold a
writing implement. I write poetry, essays, short fiction, and have tried
a novel or two over the years. I earned my MFA in Creative Writing at
Antioch University Los Angeles and one of the many benefits was the opportunity
to write in two genres, not just one. I chose poetry and fiction and had
a wonderful experience exploring the interface between the two.
TZ Advice for writers?
AS Every day--write every day. If it's good, that's wonderful. If it's not so good, write anyway and get up tomorrow and do it again.
TZ Are you working on
something now?
AS I
have completed a chapbook called Evening Sun: a Widow's Journey. The
three poems in this anthology are part of it. I've sought a publisher for
some years and am now considering self-publishing it. I've come close to
winning contests, finishing 3rd or 5th or getting an honorable mention, but
never quite won the prize. It's time to send it out into the world.
Aline's blog: http://alinesoules.wordpress.com/
soulesa@yahoo.com
soulesa@yahoo.com
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Quote for the Week
What other subject is on everyone's mind today but the unspeakable tragedy in Newtown? Dwight D. Eisenhower said it better than I could when he said the following:
There's no tragedy in life like the death of a child. Things never get back to the way they were.
Dwight D. Eisenhower
Like all of you, my heart goes out to the people of Newtown, especially those whose children will never come home from the place their parents believed was safe. At this darkest time of the year when people of all faiths celebrate the light, know that we are thinking of you and sending our love.
There's no tragedy in life like the death of a child. Things never get back to the way they were.
Dwight D. Eisenhower
Like all of you, my heart goes out to the people of Newtown, especially those whose children will never come home from the place their parents believed was safe. At this darkest time of the year when people of all faiths celebrate the light, know that we are thinking of you and sending our love.
Sunday, December 16, 2012
A Problem Only You Can Solve
This is me
Yes, I am sad. Why, you ask. Well, I have a problem that only you can solve. I get loads of visitors on this blog (I check daily, sometimes multiple times a day) and my numbers are in the hundreds. But here's the problem: almost no one leaves a comment. I feel slighted somehow, passed by with just a glance. Could you help me out and make my Christmas merry? Leave me a comment, even if it's only a word or two, so I'll know my readers are real, not just mistakes on a chart. Thanks, and Happy Holidays to all.
Thursday, December 13, 2012
The End is Near (According to the Maya)
According to interpretations--or misinterpretations--of the Mayan calendar the world will end on December 21...and darn it all, I was supposed to go on a museum tour that day.
Being a list maker, I decided I'd better make a list of things to do and not to do before The End.
To Do List
Spend time with my family and make sure to tell them I love them.
Write notes to friends to let them know how much I've appreciated their friendship.
Cuddle with my cats.
Re-read favorite poems.
Look one more time at photos from childhood to now.
Eat as much ice cream as I want.
Finish my ethical will.
To Do If I Had More Time
Take a springtime bluebonnet trip.Go to another annual lunch with colleagues who received the Tina E. Bangs Service Award from the Houston Association for Communication Disorders.
Go on vacation with my sister.
Not To Do List
Clean the attic
Pay bills.
Begin working on my 2012 taxes
Begin working on my 2012 taxes
Exercise.
Eat oatmeal, broccoli and other healthy foods I don't like, including anything with mustard or ketchup.
Pull weeds.
Repair anything.
What's on your lists?
Labels:
2012.,
December 21,
Mayan calendar
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
A Story That Will Warm Your Heart
If you're a widow--or if you're not--this story will touch your heart. To watch the video, follow the link below:
www.youtube.com/embed/8TT1XFS1LA0
www.youtube.com/embed/8TT1XFS1LA0
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Senior Travel: Guest Blogger Michelle Rebecca
Going somewhere for the holidays? Today guest blogger, Michelle Rebecca brings some tips on senior travel.
Much better. And here's Michelle:
Explore
the World Safely as a Single Senior
Have you always wanted to travel the world and see the
sights, taste the foods and experience adventures? If you’re a single senior,
don’t let the thought of traveling alone turn you off from pursuing your dream.
Discover ways you can travel safely and enjoy seeing the world as a single
senior.
Consider
Your Physical Health
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention lists
worldwide health risks on its website. Check it before scheduling your trip and
make sure your immunizations are up to date.
Before any vacation, clear your travel plans with your
doctor. Make sure you choose a vacation destination that’s not too strenuous
for your physical health. Likewise, refill your medications and pack copies of
your prescriptions and health insurance information in your suitcase. These
precautions help you stay healthy while traveling domestically and abroad.
Pack
your Suitcase
Heavy luggage hinders your ability to navigate crowded
public transportation and it increases your vulnerability to thieves. Pack as
lightly as possible. You won’t need heavy or valuable items so leave your
oversized novels, contractor
accounting software and diamond watch at home.
In your sturdy suitcase on wheels, pack only essential
clothing that’s climate and culturally appropriate. Remember to take
comfortable shoes, toiletries, a cell phone and charger, medication and copies
of your passport, ID card and prescriptions. Pack a small carry-on bag that
holds your camera and money close to your body when you travel.
Arrive
Safely
Your travel experience will be more enjoyable when you arrive
safely at your destination. On the train, airplane or bus, sit near other
people instead of by yourself. Keep your eye on your surroundings and look for
suspicious activity. As you travel from the airport to your hotel, use your
judgment before sharing a cab or entering dark alleys.
Explore
the Sights
After arriving at your destination, you will want to
explore local sights. Tell your tour guide or hotel receptionist where you’re
going and when you’ll return. Keep your cell phone charged and carry it with
you at all times. Additionally, carry a map and your hotel address with you in
case you become disoriented as you navigate an unfamiliar town.
Give your loved ones peace of mind and leave a copy of your
itinerary with a friend or family member. Be sure to follow it and check in
regularly. This precaution gives you freedom to explore the world alone and
ensures someone knows where you are at all times.
Traveling the world can be a great experience, so don’t be
afraid to take advantage of travel opportunities. Whether you go solo or join a
group, follow precautions that keep you safe while you explore the world as a
single senior.
Byline: Michelle is an aspiring writer and blogger with a passion for the
Internet, specifically social media and blogging. She loves how social media
connects people across the globe, and appreciates that blogging gives her the
opportunity to voice her thoughts and share advice with an unlimited audience.
More about Michelle:Blog: SocialweLove
Here are some of her previous posts:
Why Should I Use an Internet Marketing Company?
Should You Blog About Your Kids?
The Meeting-Your-Online-Date Guide
4 Creative Ways to Display Your Prized Possessions
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Video: On Our Own: Widowhood for Smarties
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Quote for the Week
A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down. ~Arnold Glasow
As the year winds down and I reflect on 2012 and the difficulties it's brought, I can't help but feel how blessed I am to have friends who've supported me along the rocky path my family and I have walked and how much I appreciate them.
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Books of November
As usual, my books are very different, but who wants to read the same thing over and over?
Afterwards by Rosamond Lupton uses a strange plot device. After a mother and daughter a seriously burned in a school fire, they leave their bodies (yes, that's the plot device) and try to figure out who set the fire I give it a B.
One of my book club selections. Beautifully written, a classic, but 670 pages long and after around 300 I began to feel I'd had enough. I'm glad I read it--now I can say I read what is considered one of the great books of the 20th century--but I confess I didn't understand it and by the end I was annoyed with the author and myself. But if you want to read it, have at it, and if you already have, please please leave a comment and explain it to me.
Interesting, engaging book about how important the subconscious is in our lives. I enjoyed it but I don't think I learned anything new. A-
Afterwards by Rosamond Lupton uses a strange plot device. After a mother and daughter a seriously burned in a school fire, they leave their bodies (yes, that's the plot device) and try to figure out who set the fire I give it a B.
One of my book club selections. Beautifully written, a classic, but 670 pages long and after around 300 I began to feel I'd had enough. I'm glad I read it--now I can say I read what is considered one of the great books of the 20th century--but I confess I didn't understand it and by the end I was annoyed with the author and myself. But if you want to read it, have at it, and if you already have, please please leave a comment and explain it to me.
Interesting, engaging book about how important the subconscious is in our lives. I enjoyed it but I don't think I learned anything new. A-
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