Falling from the Sky

I am considering having a t-shirt made that says I Survived the Falling Satellite. I can't believe someone isn't already selling that one.

Truthfully, the plunging satellite was not in the forefront of my mind. I was much more concerned about the rain that finally arrived after days of drought and splattered right through my roof and into my hallway. I had to put pans up and down the hall. Do you know how gross a panful of rainwater smells? I love the smell of rain...outside. Not on my carpet.

The Houston Chronicle gave scant attention to the space debris hurtling toward Earth. Down here in Texas where football is king, we are much more concerned with the possible implosion of the Big 12. Even though I grew up in Austin and I'm a proud University of Texas graduate, I admit that the Longhorns' greed--having their own sports network, which by the way, seems to be unavailable to the majority of TV owners--caused this debacle. A & M is headed for the SEC. Who will Texas play on Thanksgiving Day? Who will we hate as much as the Aggies? Both schools will have to change their fight songs. Tradition wiped away. So who cares about tons of metal falling on our heads at such a time as this?

I certainly didn't, until I made the mistake of turning on my TV Friday night when I got into bed. There was Anderson Cooper in his cute, tight t-shirt telling us that within hours the satellite would enter Earth's atmosphere, and no one knew where it might hit. OMG, it could crash anywhere, even...right here. In. My. Bedroom. Automatically, I glanced at the ceiling. No help there. My roof would be no protection from shards of metal falling at a gazillion miles an hour. That's not how I want to die. I want a dignifed end, not a splat in the middle of the night. Oh, Anderson, why did you have to bring this up? Couldn't you talk about something more cheerful, like the economy?

Should I stay awake for what could be my last night? I didn't.

When I woke up on Saturday, everything was normal. The satellite had missed me. I hurried outside to get the newspaper. A man in San Antonio reported that he saw shiny things falling from the sky. What if they had landed on the Alamo? Unthinkable.

Actually, the Associated Press said the debris had likely fallen into the Pacific, but no one could say exactly where.

So I've survived a non-crisis. At least until next time.