Sunday, November 27, 2016
Of course we're all different. Everyone faces grief in their own way. There isn't a time table or a specific series of steps that everyone goes through in lockstep. When my husband had been dead for about a year, I remember people asking, "How long did it take you to get over it?" The answer is, I didn't. I just learned to live in a different way, in what I called The World of Re: Re-flect, Re-vive, Re-frame, Re-invent, Re-emerge.
Which brings me back to the holidays. Which makes you feel better--celebrating the holidays as you and your spouse always did or Re-inventing them with new traditions. You could get together with others who might be alone for a holiday dinner out or at home. You could Re-member your loved on with a gift to a favorite charity. You could spread holiday joy by bringing small gifts to a nursing home, homeless shelter or by volunteering at a hospital on the day when most people are home with families, It's amazing how spending time with others can Re-invigorate you. \
If you're invited to a party, should you go? To be honest, I have to force myself, but, again, we're all different. Getting out and about may be just what you need to Re-charge. The important thing is not to worry about what other people think or what advice they give. It's your own personal decision.
Several years ago I attended Camp Widow, a gathering sponsored by Soaring Spirits, an organization for widows of all ages. The keynote speech was given by the founder of the organization. She wore a somber black dress as she told us about her husband's unexpected and tragic death n an accident. She said that everything she wore during the first awful days was black, down to black underwear. But when she decided she'd try getting out again, she thought a change of color would help her feel braver. Then, right there on the stage, she slipped off her black dress and underneath it, she wore a bright red outfit!. Everyone applauded. So there's a thought. Wear something bright. It will brighten your mood.
May your holidays be filled with peace and friendship.
Posted by thelmaz at 4:07 PM