E is for Eulogy

This is the eulogy my son gave at his stepfather Ralph's funeral. I may have posted it before but it is something I read over and over. So here it is again.

A few months before Ralph passed away, he said that he really wanted to see the grandkids (which he hadn’t for some time since they were too young to come into his room). So the hosipital arranged for a visit where they brought his bed downstairs. It was a lot of effort to make it happen but they made it work. It was very emotional for Ralph to see Gabriella and Marco and in his own way, to say “goodbye” to them. It was really hard for me as well. And something really struck me that Ralph had said. He was worried that Gabriella would “forget him.” So after that, I put this letter together for him, because I knew I would never be able to say these things without getting too upset.

So…here it is….

Dear Ralph,

It is hard to express myself right now with spoken words as I tend to get very emotional when I come to visit. So, I thought I would write you this letter.

Although I have called you by your first name all of my life, I have always seen you as my father. You were there for us from almost the beginning and stayed with us through all our birthdays, special holidays, graduations, and every milestone in our lives. This has continued with Gabriella and Marco. You have taken the role of their one and only grandfather. They will never forget you for that. And neither will Monica and me.

I just wanted to thank you for helping me grow into the man, husband and father I am today. And for being a fine husband to my mom, father to me, Lori and Bryan, and grandfather to Gabriella and Marco. You have had a major impact on all our lives and we will always love you and appreciate everything you have done for us.

You asked if Gabriella would remember you. I don’t see how she could ever forget you. None of us will.

Thanks for everything Dad/Grandpa.


Love,

Michael

D is for Dictionary

For you wordophiles (not sure this is actually a word) The Oxford English Dictionary
has released its 2011 version, with some surprising additions. The creme de la creme of dictionaries has bestowed the honor of "word" to some of the following:

This is a word? OMG, I can't believe it!


Of course these two are Best Friends Forever.


This cat can't spell. LOL*
*Now it's Laughing Out Loud, but back in the day, LOL referred to Little Old Lady.

s1600/I-HEART-JUSTIN-BIEBER-2082.jpg">
I don't heart Justin Bieber, and I can't believe the heart symbol is now a dictionary entry, can you?


Wags: This was new to me. It stands for Wives and Girlfriends of Athletes.


Dot.bomb: A dot.com company that went bust.

s1600/the_rules_of_couch_surfing.jpg">
Couch surfing: sleeping on someone's couch when you don't have a place of your own


Ick factor: Speaks for itself


Yuck factor: Synonym of ick factor


Rubber ducky: A cutsey rubber duck

Other candidates, anyone?

C is for Characters

Character: a person represented in a drama, story, etc.


I used to be a romance writer; therefore part of my job was to create characters. My favorites were Sam (Samantha) and Wade, hero and heroine of The Great Chili Caper, a mystery spoof I wrote for Harlequin Temptation a number of years ago. Imaginary characters, of course, but they have to seem realistic, so they need back stories, faults, interests, careers, traits that will make the reader relate to them and enjoy their stories.

Quite different is the memoir I've finished and am shopping, because now I'm the main character. All those traits I had to create are already there, but in fiction, if one of them doesn't work as the story progresses, I am God: I can go back and change it. In a memoir I must tell the truth. But here's the problem. How much of the truth? And what truth? Mine is different from my husband's, the other major character in the memoir. Can I rearrange the truth? Once in a memoir course I mentioned that a scene I'd written in which I accompany my husband into the cancer hospital didn't exactly happen that way, and someone accused me of being a liar. But many times I did walk into the hospital with him, so was I lying or just rearranging to make a better story?


And is what I remember the actual truth? Some things I know I'll never forget: the cold voice of the doctor who spouted out Ralph's diagnosis of acute myelogenous leukemia, the smell of the hospital, the incongruity of tuxedo-clad "waiters" delivering unappetizing lunches from "Room Service." But some incidents and bits of dialogue are blurred in my memory so I write them as best I can. Still, I hope the story arc makes sense and (someday) readers will identify with the main character (me).

A to Z Challenge

B is for----

BASKETBALL

It's basketball weekend in Houston! We're hosting the Final Four.

Why, I wonder, do they call it March Madness when it's still happening in April? Where did the term "the big dance" come from? If anyone knows, please enlighten me. Why not "the big glide" or "the big dunk"?

Of the last four standing, Kentucky has won the most NCAA champioships. UConn has the most experienced coach and the most outstanding player. Butler made it down to the buzzer last year before losing to Duke. VCU had to win one extra game to get here. They were one of the "first four," teams that had to play in to the tournament.

As a fan of underdogs, I'd love to see either Butler or VCU win.

Can you tell I love basketball?



BLUEBONNETS

It's our state flower. It's beautiful. Nothing touches my heart more than a sea of blue in a field or along a highway. Ever since I was a child in Austin, I've gone out to see the bluebonnets; it's an April ritual.

Now living in Houston, we drive west toward Brenham, stop at the Blue Bell Creamery for ice cream Texas style, and watch for the best flowers, then whip out our cameras. I have more pictures of bluebonnets than I do of family members. And they are family in a way, part of my life ever since I cam remember, a symbol of spring.




BUBBA'S BUFFALO BURGERS
What could be more Texan than a small shack located under a freeway that specializes in buffalo burgers? If you've never tried one, they're delicious, juicy and tender.
Bubba is a big, friendly guy who can be found behind the counter. I'm not sure how long he's been dishing out burgers, probably for years.

In honor of B, I'm wearing one of Bubba's t-shirts today. If you're ever in Houston, check out his place under the Westpark tollway.

The Ambiguities of Widowhood

Obstacles versus challenges

Memories versus plans

Loneliness versus freedom

Fear versus resilience

Regret versus gratitude

Turning inward versus reaching out

Solitude versus community

The Challenge Begins

Along with more than 900 other bloggers, I have joined Blogging Challenge A to Z. Each day during April, except Sundays, we will all publish posts beginning with the same letter, going through the alphabet from A to Z. Fun!!! Today's the A post. Alligators? Ants? Aunts? Arguments? Check out my post and see. More fun, join in.

Note: I'm going to try to keep my posts on topic--widowhood--but sometimes I'll veer off by necessity. Hmm: an X topic for widowhood. Not so easy. Anyway, here goes.