Books of December

The Playground.  I enjoyed this one about three families who get entangled more and more deeply and who aren't paying enough attention to their children's (evil) behavior.

Unmarriageable A modern Pakistani version of Pride and Prejudice, complete with Mr. "Darsee."  Fun.

Happy reading,

quote for the week

1. "Within your heart,
2. Keep a still, secret spot
3. Where dreams may go."
4. 
   
5.                      Louise Driscoll

My Podcast

Can you teach an old dog new tricks?  Apparently so, because two guys have a podcast for seniors called "New Tricks for Old Dogs."
They were asking around at Brazos Towers for people they could interview and when they heard I used to write romance novels for Harlequin, they decided to interview me.  It was great fun.
If you'd like to hear my interview (and I hope you will), you can go to www.olddogspodcast.com  Click on EPISODES and scroll down to #24. They usually begin with snippets of subjects that might be of interest to old dogs, aka seniors and then do an interview.  If you listen, I hope you'll leave a comment on my Facebook page.

Thoughts for the New Year

Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 366 page book.  Write a good one.
     Brad Paisley

Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.
     Oprah Winfrey

This is the time of the year to get rid of all unncessary things-- in your home, your body, mind, emotions--and start afresh.
     Saddhguru Jago Vasudev

Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better person.
     Benjamin Franklin

Life is change.  Growth is optional.  Choose wisely.
    Karen Kaiser Clark


All the best in 2020!
Thelma

Looking Back; Looking Forward

Janus is the Roman god of doorways.  The month of January is named for him.  He looks backward and forward so he seems a good symbol for New Year's.

Looking back over my year:
Favorite movie:  I didn't see many movies this year but I did enjoy "The Good Liar" with Helen Mirren.

Favorite books:
Non-fiction:  Becoming by Michelle Obama
                      The Vanishing Hitchhiker (This is a book that explains various urban legends)
                      With the End in Mind
Fiction: The Nickel Boys
              An American Marriage

Favorite sports event:  The Astros Go to the World Series!
Least favorite:  The Astros Lose the World Series!

Favorite purchase of the year:  2019 Lexus

Favorite play:  To Kill a Mockingbird

Best trip:  Had to cancel (again) my planned Canada trip so my only trip this year was to Atlanta and then on to New York.  So, even though I got food poisoning one evening in New York, I enjoyed the short vacation...and I'm ahead of my sister in our on-going travel Scrabble tournament.

Family events:  Gabriella is 21!

World events:  50th anniversary of the moon landing

Favorite trick my cat has learned:  If I ask her if she wants me to rub her tummy, she will roll over on her back and purr.

Favorite new volunteer job:  Facilitating a writing group at Angela's House, a residence for women transitioning from prison

Looking Forward

I can't believe we're starting a new decade! I wish everyone a decade of peace, love and health in the 2020's.  And may at least one of your wishes come true.

Holiday Rules for Widows, Widowers and Others Who are Grieving

Holidays can be tough, especially when you're grieving.  My husband died in the fall of 2005 so this is my 14th holiday season without him.  Along the way I've developed some helpful hints for those who have lost someone dear to them.  See especially #9.

Thelma Zirkelbach’s Top Eleven Rules

For Navigating the Rough Seas of Widowhood,

Especially During the Holidays

11.`   “Put your own mask on first.”  Take care of yourself.  Don’t put yourself at risk for illness, so don’t skip your check-ups. mammogram,  Don’t forget to take your medications.  Exercise.  Eat properly.

2.    

   2.  Don’t allow yourself to become the “reclusive widow.”  Women who socialize with other women friends are among the healthiest females.  If your friends seem to be forgetting you, call them.  And don’t forget your furry friends.  They can be a great source of comfort.

33.      Therapy:  If you feel you need it, find a grief group or seek individual counseling.  The purpose of a grief group should be to help you eventually come to terms with your loss.  If nothing else, use book therapy.  There are loads of books on the widowhood experience, on coping with grief, on advice for widows.

44    You’re alone, so get a Life Alert button or other type of system that will call 911 in an emergency and if you don’t have one, be sure to get an alarm system for your home..

55.     Gather all your important papers together so that when your time comes, your surviving spouse or children will be able to put their hands on them quickly.  You may want to include advanced directives, will, insurance policies, funeral plans, credit card information, passwords, safe deposit key, IRA.

66.      Have “The Conversation.”  Clarify how you want your final days to go—palliative care, heroic treatment, hospice, resuscitation.  Do this with your spouse while you are both alive and healthy.  Include your children and/or anyone else who might be involved in making decisions for you.

77.      You don’t have to do everything at once.  Some things are urgent—probate, social security, etc. but you don’t have to write all you thank you notes in one day.  You don’t have to clean out his closet right after he died (I took two years)

88.      Pamper yourself.  Soak in a bubble bath.  Read a beach book. Try something new. Make a bucket list. Think of something you’ve always wanted to do but never had time for.  Do it.  Think of something small that will make you happy or that will memorialize your loved one.  Plant a garden or just one pot; volunteer in an area related to your spouse’s illness. 

99.      Holidays can be difficult.  Think about how you will spend them.  Consider spending some time in which each person at the holiday gathering tells something s/he remembers about your spouse.  If holidays are painful, start a new holiday tradition.

110.  At the end of the day think of any good things that have happened—a smile from a stranger, an offer of help from someone you never expected to hear from, a memory that made you laugh.  Tally them up or write them down.

111.  Consider writing an ethical will or legacy letter.

Holiday quote: My wishes exactly