Children's Answers to Test

Elementary school children in a religious school were given a test on the Bible.  Below are some of their answers just as they appeared on their test papers:

In the first boo of the bible, guinessis, God got tired of creating the world so he took the Sabbath off.

Adam andEve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was Joan of Ark.  Noah built an ark and the animals came on in pears.

Lot's wife was a pillar of salt during the day but ball of fire during the night.

The Jews were a proud people and throughout hisotry they had trouble with unsympathetic genitals.

Sampson was s strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delila.

Sampson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.

Moses led the Jews to the red sea where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.

The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert.  Afterward Moses went up to Mount Cynanide to get the Ten Commandments.

The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.

Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

The greatest miracle in the bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.

David was a Hebrew king who was skilled at playing the liar.  He fought the Finkeleteins, a race of people who lived in biblical times.

Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

When Mary heard she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.

When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found Jesus in the manager.

Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.

St. John the Blacksmith, dumped water on his head.

Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do unto other before they do one to you.  He also explained the man does not live by sweat alone.

It was a miracle when Jesus arose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.

The people who followed the Lord was called the 12 decibels.

The epistels were the wives of the apostles.

One of the oppossums was St. Mathew, who was also a taximan.

St. Paul cavorted to Christianity.  He preached holy acrimony which is another name of marriage.

Christians have only one spouse.  This is called monotony.