Thursday, September 18, 2014
You don't have to get rid of all your spouse's clothes at once. Packing up things s/he used to wear can be painful. I waited two years...maybe a bit overlong, but you have to do these things when you feel able to tackle them. In The Year of Magical Thinking, Joan Didion admits she could not bring herself to get rid of her husband's shoes; she imagined if she kept them, he'd come back. I kept a few of my favorite things of his, but now that I'm downsizing, I have to let them go, so I took pictures. The one thing I've saved was his shabby brown bathrobe. On cold nights I wrap myself in it and imagine that even after nine years it still carries his scent.
I'm not going to admit how long it took me to change the utilities to my name, but it was pretty darn long. I've finally changed them all...except for TV/internet/phone/fax. Comcast would not allow me to change them by phone and their nearest branch office is a good hour drive, so all those are still in my husband's name.
One of the first things I bought after my husband's death was a shredder; still, I spent a year going through my husband's extensive files.
And please don't pick up and sell your home and move to another town or even a smaller place until you've settled down enough to tackle a move sensibly.
Take care, and come back next week for Tip #8.
Posted by thelmaz at 1:29 PM