Tuesday, April 12, 2011

K is for Kids Say the Darndest Things

Many years ago, more than I like to remember, Art Linkletter had a daily show that featured a segment called Kids Say the Darndest Things. Having worked with kids, also for more years than I like to remember, I can attest that that is true.

Here are some of my experiences with kids:

I was testing a little girl, around 4 years old. The expressive language portion of the test had a series of questions: What runs? What flies? What cuts? etc. After about five of these, the child put her hands on her hips and glared at me. "Don't you know anything?" she asked.

Just yesterday I was in the midst of a session with one of my favorite four-year-olds when he announced, "Some people call my mother Jody, but that's not her real name." "What is her name?" I asked, expecting something like Joanne. Instead he said, "Her real name is Mommy"

When my first romance novel came out, a boy I was seeing for stuttering therapy and working to slow his rate of speech said, "Miss Thelma, I heard you wrote a love story, and I know how it goes. He says, 'I love you,' and she says, 'Say it slowly.'"

Then there was the kid I ran into a couple of years after I finished working with him. "Hi, Miss Thelma," he said. "I haven't seen you in a long time. How old are you now, about a hundred?"

I once tested a first grader who was suspected of having a learning disability. I asked him what was the hardest thing for him in school and he said, "Math." "Why is math hard?" I asked. "Well," he said sadly, "I ran out of fingers."

And finally there was a child who only said a few words when I began working with him but who was progressing nicely. One day the school director stopped me and said, "Well, J. has certainly come a long way." I was sort of preening when she added, "I was in his class the other day and I asked him if I could see the picture he was drawing. He looked over his shoulder and said, 'F... off.' I'm absolutely sure I never taught him that.


Anonymous said... [Reply to comment]

Working with kids you never know what you'll hear. They are awesome.

Dafeenah said... [Reply to comment]

I loved watching that show. Kids will definitely amaze you with the things that come out of their mouths.


Leah said... [Reply to comment]

Hilarious! I especially like the last one.

thelmaz said... [Reply to comment]

Thanks to all of you for stopping by. I love company.

Patricia A. Timms said... [Reply to comment]

This was a fun post! I can relate to the last one with my own daughter. When she was 4 years old and in preschool she came home and said her little brother was F-ing her over! I'm not always an angel but I don't use that phrase. I went to the pre-k teacher and told her what happened and she said there was one kid in class always saying that and they already addressed it with the parents. It was funny. The school was more embarassed than I was. Kids can be funny that way. Haha!

Angeline said... [Reply to comment]

Ha ha! Hilarious! Thanks for sharing.

Margaret Hall said... [Reply to comment]

How special this posting was for me..I love the kiddos, and I know that they can come up with some of the most original responses~!! Loved the posting....



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